Please if anybody sees this, don't worry about it. Both essays are the same, the computer got mad and it runs around with the job it's been given.Thanks
The essay has an introduction that grabs attention. It has a clear thesis and 2 topic sentences. There is evidence that supports the topic sentence. You analyze and explain the details clearly and they're all connected to the thesis. Your essay is written by T.E.A organization. You should work on grammar more to improve the essay.
Wow, you did a really great job. Your thesis connected with all the details you showed in the body. Your 1st and 2nd body-paragraph is easy but all of them are wealthy and convincible, support your thesis. You just use simple topic sentences but they're surely show us how your ideas work. I think that you can describe more in 1st b-paragraph and choose some more words to present your ideas stronger. In the conclusion, you gave us some questions that we have to re-think what we have thought about Traditional economy so far. All in all, it's a great essay. Keep trying, Saman!
I think you should work on your grammar and sentence structure. For example: thinki8ng. In your essay, you mention a bit about mixed, market, and command economy. I think you should only focus on describing traditional economy. You also said that command economy makes people think that money is the best thing in your conclusion. I don't think so, a command economy doesn't allow people to be creative and to improve their live, which means everybody is the same, like the amount of they earn money is also the same. How could people desires for more money in this situation because they know that they can only get the same amount of money? The good thing about your essay is paragraph structure. You use simple sentences to follow the TEA organization. I can understand the ideas of your essay very well. All of your evidences connects to your thesis. Your analysis is very good too, it connects your ideas to the real world very well. Keep up the good work and try harder next time! P.S: You should spend more time checking grammars!
I like your essay especially your introduction paragraph... Your introduction paragraph had grabbed my attention pretty well and it makes me continue to read your essay. I also like how you use simple sentences and it helps me to understand your essay easier..
I like your introduction and analysis. It shows really strong proves. Your introduction really does make me want to continue to read. You also clearly said your thesis. But try to focus on your positive thesis. You're talking more of a negative one. Anyway, Great job~
Please if anybody sees this, don't worry about it. Both essays are the same, the computer got mad and it runs around with the job it's been given.Thanks
ReplyDeleteThe essay has an introduction that grabs attention. It has a clear thesis and 2 topic sentences. There is evidence that supports the topic sentence. You analyze and explain the details clearly and they're all connected to the thesis. Your essay is written by T.E.A organization. You should work on grammar more to improve the essay.
ReplyDeleteWow, you did a really great job. Your thesis connected with all the details you showed in the body. Your 1st and 2nd body-paragraph is easy but all of them are wealthy and convincible, support your thesis. You just use simple topic sentences but they're surely show us how your ideas work. I think that you can describe more in 1st b-paragraph and choose some more words to present your ideas stronger. In the conclusion, you gave us some questions that we have to re-think what we have thought about Traditional economy so far. All in all, it's a great essay. Keep trying, Saman!
ReplyDeleteI think you should work on your grammar and sentence structure. For example: thinki8ng. In your essay, you mention a bit about mixed, market, and command economy. I think you should only focus on describing traditional economy. You also said that command economy makes people think that money is the best thing in your conclusion. I don't think so, a command economy doesn't allow people to be creative and to improve their live, which means everybody is the same, like the amount of they earn money is also the same. How could people desires for more money in this situation because they know that they can only get the same amount of money?
ReplyDeleteThe good thing about your essay is paragraph structure. You use simple sentences to follow the TEA organization. I can understand the ideas of your essay very well. All of your evidences connects to your thesis. Your analysis is very good too, it connects your ideas to the real world very well. Keep up the good work and try harder next time!
P.S: You should spend more time checking grammars!
I like your essay especially your introduction paragraph... Your introduction paragraph had grabbed my attention pretty well and it makes me continue to read your essay. I also like how you use simple sentences and it helps me to understand your essay easier..
ReplyDeleteI like your introduction and analysis. It shows really strong proves. Your introduction really does make me want to continue to read. You also clearly said your thesis. But try to focus on your positive thesis. You're talking more of a negative one. Anyway, Great job~
ReplyDelete